Went to the Zoo today

We took Jacob to the Zoo today, despite the forecast for rain (this is Seattle after all--we just dress for the weather). We had a grand time looking at zebras and elephants and feeding the birds. It started to pour, so we went to the covered gorilla exhibit, where there were lots of other people who were also trying to not get completely soaked. While we were looking at the gorillas, a couple next to us started to ooh and aahh over how cute Jacob is. Now this is not an uncommon occurence, as Jacob pretty much turns heads wherever we go. However, after a few moments, the woman's comments took an unexpected turn:

"I'd bet we could throw him in this exhibit and the gorillas wouldn't know the difference."

My partner and I were so stunned that we were pretty much speechless. After a few seconds, we walked away and we both agreed that it was a racist statement. I mean, they had just talked about how cute he is, and then basically said that he looks like a frickin' gorilla!

I don't think she even realized how insulting her comment was. Who the heck would throw a baby into a zoo exhibit?? The thought was horrifying. And then the whole "he looks like a gorilla" insinuation was astounding.

Transracial adoption

I've done quite a lot of thinking about what I want to say in a blog. What can I contribute to the blogosphere that's not completely inane and navel-gazing? I've decided that my focus is going to be on my experiences with transracial adoption.

My partner and I are both white.

My son, who is almost 10 months old, is black.

Transracial adoption is not a journey to be undertaken lightly. We have to go out of our way to help our son experience and understand his birth culture so that he will feel comfortable in his own skin as he grows up. My worst fear is that he won't feel like he fits in anywhere as an adult.

One of the more interesting aspects of transracial adoption is that, whereever we go, people stare at us. Mostly, they stare because they are trying to fit our family into something that fits into their frame of reference. When someone stares, I often will smile at them. Usually they will look away for a second, then look back, smile back at me, and sometimes a conversation will start.

However, sometimes some really strange comments come along with that conversation. Things like:

Stranger: "Where was he born?"
Me: "Delaware."
Stranger: "No, where was HE born."
Me: "DELAWARE"

And then there was this question:

Stranger: "Is he from the Congo?"
Me: "Uh, no, he was born in Delaware."

I guess no black people exist in the US, so he must have come from some other country...
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I can't forget this question, when my son was quite young and in a Baby Bjorn:

Stranger: "Is that a dog?"
Me: "What??"
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And then there's this gem:

Stranger: "Oh they are so cute when they're babies!"

Oh. my. god.

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This journey that my family is on is amazing and interesting and frightening and educational all rolled into one. I wouldn't trade it for anything.